Vulnerable

I couldn’t fall asleep. Tonight I listened to a Brene Brown talk on vulnerability and it struck a chord with me!

First she told about an article she was reading that said: “Vulnerability is okay at work” and pictured there was a guy in a suit with a big teardrop coming down his cheek. Is that what being vulnerable is?

Brene goes on to explain that research defines vulnerability as:

1. Uncertainty

2. Risk

3. Emotional exposure

She then asks, “How can you be a great leader who is not willing to walk into uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure?”

I hope that we will travel somewhere exotic — that will leave me vulnerable, but I want to be a great leader even if that never happens. I wanted to do something today.

Selling our house made us vulnerable and it’s been an incredibly uniting experience for Dan and me. We have also learned a great lesson on the burden of debt. That burden is real and tangible; it affects our decisions and our actions. We already feel that this has been a great decision for us and it made me want to make more of those decisions where I am not a product of my circumstances, but using my agency to build my life into what I want it to be.

Realizing that I’ve liked being vulnerable so far, I yearn to do it again. I thought of something I really deep down want to do, but am scared. I am going to pursue it: TALKING ABOUT HEALTH ON THE BLOG. I haven’t really delved into that yet; not to the extent I could. It’s something I’ve read literally hundreds of books on and basically have done my own “Mommy Masters Degree” in, but I haven’t shared. You know why I haven’t shared? Because I would be vulnerable.

Everyone has different ideas of health; and honestly, mine isn’t rigid or set in stone. Would I ever want it to be set in stone? I don’t think so. I am always open to new findings and new ideas, so it will be fluid. But should I completely avoid a topic that is such a huge part of my life? Something that I have a huge passion for? NO!

A part of that is sharing some experiences that I have had with products that have worked for me. Even then, why am I keeping my mouth shut!

I want to be a “Present Leader” as Brene calls it. I want to be someone who says “Yeah, the world of health is forever changing; we don’t know what science will show next, or how it is going to turn out. Maybe what works for me doesn’t work for someone else, but I have confidence that we can take on this challenge and I will be a better person by facing it head-on. It will require adaptability. I may say something on the blog that offends someone, or I might change my opinion. You may have a different idea of health than me, but I am going to be bold, share what I have learned and experienced, and if I’m burned, I’m going to be okay with it. At least I’m not avoiding the topic out of fear; instead I’m opening myself up, and I’m okay with that.