My Desire to Achieve -- The Animal Ecosystem
We live in an ecosystem of people, and that's a beautiful thing! Each person adds her or his own talents and strengths and pace of life to the mix. Lately our family has been in a whirlwind of ideas, possibilities, and a flurry of activity. You know what's weird though? Amidst renewing my realtor's license in Utah, getting it in Wyoming, interviewing with brokerages, showing our house, looking at multi-family units, twinhomes, townhomes, then foreclosures, and now even single-family homes, making offers, attending seminary dinners, and planning world slow-travel this fall -- WE ARE HAPPIER THAN WE'VE EVER BEEN. Our marriage is peaceful because we're a united team. The girls are happy because my cookie jar is filled. And I'm fulfilled as a person. My sad days have gone way way down, and my enthusiasm for life is way way up!
I had this idea that to be a "good" stay at home mom, you couldn't work or make money in any way. I would take on projects anyway, but they would be what I'd consider to be "B" or "C" projects (e.g. creating an 800 square foot garden, painting a gorgeous oil painting for our living room etc.). As I prayed and searched about what would help me be fulfilled, we came back to this idea of me getting my realtor's license.
#1 it's helpful for our own investments and purchases.
#2 I just LOVED helping people find a home that worked best for their family and was within their price range.
#3 I totally thrived on the confidence and mentoring of my boss and that someone had such faith in me.
#4 I loved exceeding couple's expectations. I truly believe that finding the answer if you don't know it, promptly responding to their questions, and just being a happy liason can make the home buying process a great experience. As I've seen friends list and buy homes, there is this little part of me that goes "Awwww! I wish I was your realtor!"
In many ways it's a win-win. This is an example of an "A" project that I've been putting off because I "shouldn't."
I was talking to a mentor/friend who asked me what I was most fearful of...I thought about that for a few days. When our house went under contract I realized that was it! Selling our house was something I was really fearful of. It was something I wanted to do but was terrified to do. What would the repercussions be? One main reason to be in this house was to stay in Cheyenne for years and years. Though I love it here, Dan and I both fly by the seat of our pants ALL THE TIME. We love having the world open to us and knowing that if we feel a prompting to change things, we can act in a heartbeat. I knew selling our home would be really healthy for our marriage. The burden of debt is real but it would mean a lot of changes. I would have to get rid of stuff (and though that would be freeing it would mean sacrifices), I wouldn't be in this ward that I love, I wouldn't be a stone's throw from my parents house, etc.
We went to the temple and pondered and prayed about selling our home and me getting my realtor's license. Dan and I each felt peace, and as I prayed I received the clearest impression. "I made you this way." Father made me with a desire to achieve, and the capacity to do add projects to my everyday life and to still function even more happily.
But how could this be? How could it be okay for me to "have a job?" I looked around at wonderful women who I admire and recognized that many of them work part-time, on the side (which is what I will do). I completely believe President Kimball's advice that the mother be there when the children walk through the door; that mothers are the primary nuturers (the Proclamation); and that I want to continually develop a mother heart. I realized I will still be ALL THOSE THINGS. I am not giving that up, and I'm not sacrificing wifehood/motherhood as my #1 priority. But I can do both. Dan's work is so flexible that he can work from home or watch the girls if I have showings, and he will love spending time with the girls. I'll love interacting with others and helping them. I see it like this great big puzzle and I get to solve it!
MY FAVORITE PART...ZOOTOPIA
I called up my mentor to ask why I felt like this was something I wanted to do? Why did I feel this need to achieve? She told me a little parable about the Animal Ecosystem. Okay, so in the preview for "Zootopia" there's this bunny rabbit who bounces as quick as a wink and runs wherever she goes. She has 48 hours to solve a case and she's up for the challenge. She needs information and briskly enters a police station...full of sloths. She talks quickly as can be asking for answers...but...the....sloth....is....so....slow.
Okay, that bunny rabbit is so totally ME!!!! I bounce around at warp-speed. I know I overwhelm people sometimes and that I'm loud as can be. When I was interviewing with a broker who takes life slowly, I felt like I was so loud, so pushy, and moving at warp-speed. It was a good wake up call to realize: when a sloth looks at me they think "Just slow down!" (You can't be a mom and have a blog and start a business and become a realtor and move and travel the world and be a great mom and wife all at once...oh, and be happy doing it!) And it might be true, but bouncing between all those projects is how I thrive.
God made me that bunny and I can't be a sloth just because someone else is a sloth. I can't change who I am to please everyone else. We need all types of people. When the beavers work-work-work buildling dams, everyone benefits from their work. So if I'm a natural-born beaver who wants to gnaw and chew and carry and build, I shouldn't force myself to be a turtle who swims in the ocean taking in the beautiful scenery. In our Animal Kingdom we need every type of person. This goes the other way too. NO COMPARING. NO CRITICIZING someone for taking life at a slower pace.
Father teaches us "I never compare." I am so grateful for the giraffes with the long necks who see the big picture, and for the turtles who help us appreciate the beauty of the world. I am grateful to be a bunny or beaver or whatever you want to call to me. Life is about adventure. And while I don't always know where I'm going, I love jumping into the unknown and basking in the thrill of a new experience.
