5 Things I've Learned as A Mother of Four, Ages 4 and Under

When Alyssa asked me to write about my experience as a mother of 3, my first reaction was essentially, “I am weak and far from perfect!” As I began to reflect, I must say that I have seen a progression in myself. I have had and continue to learn as the Savior did, line upon line, percept upon percept, here a little and there a little. I have had to stop and say to myself that there is a time and a season for everything. I am in the season of little children.

I am not the same mother I was when my oldest entered my life over four and half years ago. Growing pains have been gradual and intense at times. Throughout it, I have become more self aware and hope that I will continue to become more so.

As I have progressed, I have learned to recognize the enabling power of the Atonement. My Savior is always there, whether I acknowledge him or not. He enables me to do what must be done. I do what I need to do, which most likely is different from what you need to do. I am the mother of my children and I have been given a divine stewardship over them. I believe that we can all become the mother we are meant to be.

In December, I will have 4 children, ages 4 and under (she does now! -- see picture below). It will only be for a brief moment. Everyday they will grow older and everyday we will learn together. I am not perfect. I seek to learn from those around me, but I ultimately have come to know that it is through my Savior that I can learn what is best for me and mine.

Here are 5 things that I have learned up to this point in my motherhood journey.

I must not compare. “Comparison is the thief of Joy.” It truly is. We all do similar things, but we do not need to do the same things. Take the good, tweak it to fit your needs. This IS a learning process. I also love Elder Holland’s talk about how just because someone else is happy does not mean that there is less happiness for us. We can all be happy together.

Life moves forward. I use to feel frustrated that once I’d settled into a routine, it would change. I’m learning to embrace the phases that I love, being happy with the time that I have to be in that moment, and endure more patiently through the phases that I don’t.

I need time to myself. I do not entertain my children all day. I tend to their needs, I encourage them to play together. I spend maybe 5 minutes at a time “playing” with individual children or all of them. I’m pregnant. I take a “nap (sometimes I never actually fall asleep, but I lay down)” while my oldest is at Pre-K, my 3 yr old is having quiet time, and my 1 yr old is napping. Time to myself allows me to be a happier mother.

I can’t do everything. This goes back to realizing that there is a time and season for everything. I have good days and I have bad days. Figuring out what is best for me each day is often the challenge.

Ask for help. When you need help, ask for it! More often then not, someone in your life is ready and willing to provide that help for you. Realize that you may not be able to “repay” the person who has helped you, but that you can pay it forward when you are in a place in your life to help others.

I hope you feel encouraged to “keep, keepin’ on!” We really ARE doing better than we think we are.