What About My Kids' Social Life? Part 2

What Are They Being Socialized To?

"The great advantage of home schooling, in fact, is the protection it provides to vulnerable children from the wrong kind of socialization. When children interact in large groups, the strongest and most aggressive kids quickly intimidate the weak and vulnerable. I am absolutely convinced that bad things happen to immature and "different" boys and girls when they are thrown into the highly competitive world of other children. When this occurs in nursery school or in kindergarten, they learn to fear their peers. There stands this knobby-legged little girl who doesn't have a clue about life or how to cope with things that scare her. It's sink or swim, kid. Go for it! It is easy to see why such children tend to become more peer dependent because of the jostling they get at too early an age" {Source}.

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"​Research shows that if these tender little boys and girls can be kept at home for a few more years and shielded from the impact of social pressure, they tend to be more confident, more independent, and often emerge as leaders three or four years later" {Source} ​​

My Story

My mom noticed that before I went to my dance class at age 3 I thought I was a wonderful dancer. When I came home from dance class each week, my mistakes were glaring and I felt like I couldn't dance. I was losing confidence.

As I attended first grade, I didn't know that I "shouldn't talk to sixth graders. I asked a girl to "will you be my friend" and she bluntly replied "no." That was hard for me at the time because I was fragile and wondering what others thought of me.

My mom took me out of school and I thrived in social interactions that my mom could monitor. If the interaction was tearing me down, she removed me from it. Some people would argue I had to "toughen up"; but developing complete confidence in myself -- untainted by negative peer interaction -- enabled me to become a leader throughout my life.

Junior High and Highschool

Ask yourself, "What is school socializing them to?" Generally, Junior High is a lot of kids who are trying to figure out who they are. I think having older and younger kids freely interact with yours teaches your struggling "tweener" that he will find his mission and purpose.

Negative Socialization

In my experience, peers in Jr High wanted to purposely tell me all sorts of sexual innuindo. They had marajuana in their lockers and wanted to tell me about it. Not to say I was traumatized or anything, these just weren't things I cared to know. I did have amazing experiences like friends joining the church and those were neat, but I liked choosing my friends.

Appropriate Times to Socialize

As a youth I wanted time to socialize but the kid stapling his arm (yes, really) next to me while I was trying to concentrate on my math worksheet in highschool WASN'T that time. I personally prefered to dig deeply into my studies and then do group science experiments, sing in the choir, and participate in guitar class with friends. I socialized with friends on Friday night group dates. These were appropriate times for socializing.

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The REAL WORLD

People say "this is the real world," but I disagree. In the real world, smart kids "NERDS" who were bullied in elementary school are now "BRILLIANT" medical doctors. In the real world, you get to choose who you interact with. My husband chooses a job where people aren't vulgar. As a stay at home mom I get to choose my friends. We can even filter movies so we don't hear bad language. That's the real world.

Sibling Relationships

Sibling relationships are strengthened with homeschool. You usually love the people you spend a lot of time with. A close friend of mine felt like he bullied his brother, and he thinks that might have been different if he didn't have peer pressure to "fit in" with the popular crowd.

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Allows Kids to Develop at Their Own Pace

When kids are interacting with peers that are years younger and older than they are, there isn't so much pressure that you didn't learn to read at age 5 like others. You are able to progress at your own pace.

Ability to Interact with Adults

I am always amazed that at the homeschooling group I go to, 5 and 8 year olds treat me (an adult) as their peer. They come up and converse with me about whatever interests them like it's completely normal. I remember feeling confident and open to converse with anyone; no matter their age.